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Mile Marker: October, 2013

By Fred Nabkey

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Did anyone see Joe “Chester” Zawalich of Brookfield, Wisconsin, at the 110th? You might have seen him at Hal’s Harley-Davidson in New Berlin signing autographs, or in the Anniversary Parade. Why? Chester is 99 years old and still riding his white Ultra. He added a sidecar, he says, so in case he falls over he doesn’t have to pick it up, but if he falls off he can pick himself up. He has been riding for 83 years; never had a speeding ticket or a crash… Has anyone gotten married at the Hitchin’ Post in Sturgis? It is located at J and J Optical where Joan and Jubal Pillen have their store. Joan is an ordained Internet non-denominational minister and there is no waiting. While Jubal is grinding lenses in the back room, she is doing the marryin’ and has wed hundreds of couples. She married one couple that were nude and only wore body paint, but that doesn’t work anymore as she has invoked the “Tarzan Rule.” That’s right: the boys have to wear a loincloth… Congratulations to Brandon Hall of Liberty, South Carolina, on winning a 2013 Dyna Super Glide donated by the Harley-Davidson Motor Company complete with custom paint by Justin Barnes (American Chopper) at the National Skills USA Award Ceremony in Kansas City, Missouri. Skills USA is a partnership of students, teachers and industries to ensure America has a skilled workforce for the future… The statistics are in from the 2013 Sturgis Rally and the clear winner is the State of SoDak. Arrests were up in all phases: tickets, felonies, seized vehicles, concealed weapons arrests and DUIs. The good news is that fatalities as well as non-injury accidents were down, and the county coffers were fortified with $13,221 up from last year’s $9,368. Sounds to me like a good time was had by all; sorry I had to miss the fun… Wesley Pickens of Chandlersville, Ohio, was out for a putt on his cherry-red Harley-Davidson when he was pulled over by state patrolman Troy Hale for not using his blinker. Cheap stop, you decide. It was after 2:00 a.m., he didn’t use his blinker and displayed signs of visual impairment. Yup; Officer Hale threw him in the slammer for drunk driving. If convicted he faces his seventh OVI, and he’s also had his license suspended 16 times since 1990. They say that ignorance can be fixed, but… In Bayside, Wisconsin, a woman was arrested for drunk driving and crashing her motorcycle on Interstate 43. According to the police report, the woman (name, age or place of residence not released) was seen driving her motorcycle erratically with her breasts exposed. She was driving at speeds of 15–45 mph on the highway; sometimes no hands and sometimes with one hand. When she crashed the police reported that she was incoherent, babbling about religion. The police drew blood, found a pain medicine patch on her and that she also took Oxycontin. Thanks to the air bags she was not injured. LMAO… Stephen Morrison, a truck driver out of Danville, Iowa, had his girlfriend clean his truck when she found a lottery ticket from the Missouri Lottery. He told her to throw it away; he then remembered the second-chance drawing. He won it. His prize was a Harley-Davidson of his choice up to $21,000 or the cash. Old Stephen did what any red-blooded American would do: he took the money, traded in his 2004 hog, paid the difference and got a 110th Anniversary CVO Screamin’ Eagle Road Glide. Stephen, you are my hero… The National Packard Museum in Warren, Ohio, has received the AMF Award for Excellence by the Antique Motorcycle Foundation. The museum almost closed about 13 years ago because of lack of visitors when Bruce Williams and Daryl Timko, a pair of antique enthusiasts, had an idea to hold an annual motorcycle exhibit. Since then other enthusiasts, as well as the Lake Erie Chapter of the Antique Motorcycle Club of America, have pitched in to keep the museum open, generating enough attendance to allow the museum to expand and add more space. This is the second award this year for the museum; in March they received the Award of Excellence from the National Association of Automobile Museums… Michael Carter and his brother Duane Thompson of Alton, Missouri, were sitting on their motorcycles talking about Mike’s new $25,000 Harley when a car drove by and the occupants threw bottles of water at them and sped off. He and his brother gave chase, got a description and plate number and filed a report. The incident happened July 17 and as of August 27 the police department has not done a thing; nada, zilch, nothing, no way. Thank the lord that the bottles were plastic and damage could be rubbed out, and the bottle that hit Mike did not hurt him. Mike wants justice and I don’t blame him; he is an over-the-road trucker and can’t do much, but I bet our readers can… And finally… Out of Indiana in the local motorcycles-for-sale magazine was a picture of a V-Rod for sale. The description is as follows: “2002 Harley Davidson V-Rod. 12,600 mi. nice bike, fast, pretty, great ride, girlfriend pregnant, wife knows, must sell, lawyer wants money, $7,800.” Somebody help a brother out! I love this job, folks… That’s it for this month. It’s all about you, the Midwest biker. Ride fast, but ride safe.

 

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